Recovery has its ups and downs. Physically it is mostly ‘up’ now, but mentally and emotionally there are some ‘down’ times. It has become a game of reconciling what the mind would like to do with what the body can or should do at this stage in the recovery trajectory.
I am on the second emotional/mental roller coaster of the week in this regards. The first one was last Saturday. Ride The World Cups #3, raising funds to send Proman Shelley Olds on her World Cup exploits, was Saturday and Shelley had convinced The Wife to come out and ride if not race at the track. I was going along, as usual, but then got longing to try out the track bike. I have not ridden that bike, or any fixed gear bike, since the accident five months ago. I was severely tempted, but in the end I reasoned that I could not afford even a small crash so I left the bike hanging in the shed and went to the track to kibbutz and cheer. And to spend some time, and cash, in the bake sale efforts to send Megan to Manchester in her World Cup quest.
The second “do I or don’t I” tribulation this week is a bit of a long term tradition trying to bubble to the surface. I like to take a long ride this week every year, a chance to get out, think about the year and all that has gone on and is facing me in the future, all while getting some wind in the face and some fatigue in the muscles. Generally the route is from home, across the spine of the Santa Cruz Mountains, down to the coast, then north or south to another road for the return. But those routes are long, generally 50-80 miles or more, with a lot of climbing. Is there sufficient strength in the legs at this time? A couple of weeks ago I would have said no, today the answer is ‘probably’. Do I have the endurance for 4-6 or so hours of riding? My guess is probably not. And without being able to complete the circuit it is wise to let the tradition pass, at least for this year. Sigh. Perhaps by the first of the year I can do a long coastal circuit. One can hope.





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